I’ve got the beach on my brain, y’all. Been trying to get out there for a few weeks, and somehow not succeeding (though the sandy white shores of Mississippi are less than two hours away).
Beach-cause I’m not there yet (sorry), I’ve created my own beach style ahead of time with items carefully culled from Etsy. I would appreciate you sending me all of them, stat.

I’ve long been obsessed with this high-waisted bathing suit by seller BOODWAH. It’s basically like, “Oh, you’re insecure about your belly? COVER IT UP WITH COLORS. Now go have an ice cream sandwich. Done.”

Going to and from the shore, you could cover up with this giant, tent-like caftan from seller SaudadeSun. By the way that the model is standing on the railing, you can tell that this garment also gives you the power of flight, a la Rocky from “Rocky & Bullwinkle”.

There are a LOT of “barefoot sandals” on Etsy. Apparently a ton of ladies (and gents; let’s not be exclusive) are getting married on the beach, wearing what amounts to a lacy thong for your toes.
Not to be left out, I’ve selected this perfect pair from seller FancyyFeets to make my feet feel, um, fancy–while they do absolutely nothing to protect me against scorching hot sand, glass shards, bottle caps, wayward crustaceans, etc.

When you’re done soaking up saltwater and skin damage for the day, throw all your junk into this tote from seller theAtlanticOcean (I didn’t know bodies of water could own Etsy shops. Let’s say it’s something I’ve never sean before.)
…I’ll show myself out.
Are you going to the beach this summer? TAKE ME WITH YOU.
Do you truly want to do a beach trip? Effing let’s.
Julia, I never replied to this! But I did, and I do.