FASHION FRIDAY: Rules of Being a Zebra

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Did you always dream of being a fighter pilot, only to find out you’re colorblind, like Paul Dano’s character in “Little Miss Sunshine”? Do you try to create interesting color combinations, but get stare-shamed out of coffee shops for wearing fuchsia with mustard?

NEVER FEAR, POOR SAD FASHION FAILURES. For I am here to tell you: you can just wear black and white. Like a zebra. They do it every day, and they look fly as hell.

^ Artful draping.

Continuing my love affair with bow ties is this hexagonally patterned neck candy by seller TimeLordsChoice, who has a terrible camera but seems to be pretty okay at making ties.

All the news that’s fit to wear.

Next, we have a #totallykickass headband by seller FlosCaeli, who, you guessed it, hails from Eastern Europe. I don’t know, guys, I guess things are just made better over there. I wonder if the newspaper is in Bulgarian? IT TOTALLY IS.

Ring ring OH GOD MY EYES

If you want to channel zebras technology-style, grab this iPhone case from seller BestCase. It will probably provide more benefits if you own an iPhone. Just saying.

What do zebras think about?

This vintage party dress from Erstwhilestyle is a simple play on the often-overwhelming zebra esthetic. When in doubt, avoid wearing stripes on a large scale. On the plus side, if you look like a French mime, people may give you money!

Do you hate me for insulting fuchsia and mustard? Leave a comment.

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