Did you always dream of being a fighter pilot, only to find out you’re colorblind, like Paul Dano’s character in “Little Miss Sunshine”? Do you try to create interesting color combinations, but get stare-shamed out of coffee shops for wearing fuchsia with mustard?
NEVER FEAR, POOR SAD FASHION FAILURES. For I am here to tell you: you can just wear black and white. Like a zebra. They do it every day, and they look fly as hell.
Continuing my love affair with bow ties is this hexagonally patterned neck candy by seller TimeLordsChoice, who has a terrible camera but seems to be pretty okay at making ties.
Next, we have a #totallykickass headband by seller FlosCaeli, who, you guessed it, hails from Eastern Europe. I don’t know, guys, I guess things are just made better over there. I wonder if the newspaper is in Bulgarian? IT TOTALLY IS.
If you want to channel zebras technology-style, grab this iPhone case from seller BestCase. It will probably provide more benefits if you own an iPhone. Just saying.
This vintage party dress from Erstwhilestyle is a simple play on the often-overwhelming zebra esthetic. When in doubt, avoid wearing stripes on a large scale. On the plus side, if you look like a French mime, people may give you money!
Do you hate me for insulting fuchsia and mustard? Leave a comment.