Before

(Scroll down for the After)

As is often the case with the pages I work on, this page wasn’t a total dumpster fire. A lot of it was working — and working well!

But the page as a whole felt a bit disjointed, and it was unclear what target client Sunken Stone was speaking to. Plus, the haphazard design felt like it was hurting the brand’s authority.

Scroll down for the restructure, rewrite, and redesign (design by the Sunken Stone team, not by me, obviously. I’m just a lil ol’ copywriter).

After

Whew, look at that gorgeous redesign! Much easier now for the copy to get its message across. And it does.

Along with making the page a bit more conversational, and speaking to Sunken Stone’s target client, the new page structure eases readers into understanding who Sunken Stone are, what they do, and who’s the right fit to work with them. The deeper you scroll, the more information you get about how it works — vs the original page’s disjointed firehose approach.

Notice how CTAs are intentionally less distant and more friendly, lowering the barrier for readers to either self-qualify through a quiz or schedule a quick free chat with a single person who has a name (Will).