When the final building has crumbled to dust and cockroaches rule the Earth and Ted Cruz finally grows a spine, one rule will still hold true:

The funny business gets the last laugh.

“I want to publicly say you’re a genius.”

“@punchlinecopy!!!! I want to publicly say you’re a genius. I bought your day, and am blown away by the quality and quantity of what you accomplished.”

Adrienne Barnes
Best Buyer Persona

Businesses that worked with me + liked it:

Businesses that worked with me + didn’t like it:

Three ways to work with me ...

For more haha and less blah blah

The Knockout

Recorded Heuristic Audit

Get my recorded feedback, ideas, and prioritized recommendations on up to 4 pages of your website, or 5 emails in your automated flow. If you want a ton of conversion and copy ideas fast, this is the service to start with.


  • 4 detailed audit videos
  • Bullet-point recommendations

I just watched, and I am already super grateful to have your eyes on this. Brilliant! ; )

– Olivia Martinez, LadySuite

The Uppercut

Landing Page Heuristic Audit + Rewrite

Lemme punch some life back into your landing page. Along with recording a detailed audit video of your current page, I’ll rewrite the whole thing for bigger laughs and higher conversions.


  • 1 detailed audit video
  • 1 page of brand-spankin’-new conversion copy

Frick, this is SO GOOD and I LOVE it!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you!!!

– Susan Boles, ScaleSpark

Buy My Day

Anything You Want, Baby*

*Except for that.

Weaponize my weird brain for a day. Landing page copy, email strategy and flow copy, audits, taglines, campaign ideas — you name it, I can do it (or, even more valuable, I can tell you why I wouldn’t recommend doing it).


  • Anything I can do in a day (dang, that’s a lot)

I gotta say, what John Mayer is to guitars, you are to copy. A master at your craft. I can tell already that I will have very few notes or requests. I do have one follow up question already though. When can I work with you again?

– Cameron Brown, Einstein Moving Co.


Consulting + custom projects

AKA "I don't see what I want. Can we talk about it?"

No, I will not sit on you for money.

Yes, I have been asked.

Ye Olde Wall of Praise

I read this when I feel shitty about myself. Enjoy!


Ecommercefuel Live

Business of Software

AMerican Marketing Association

Baby Bathwater

The Dynamite Circle


Blue Ribbon Mastermind

Smart Traffic live

Influence & COnversion summit

Entrepreneurs' organization colorado


Call to action Conference

Learn inbound

The Copywriter Club IRL


Release notes

Unspam by really good emails

Social media week

your event here? c'mon ...