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Imagine you’re at a party.

You’re hanging out, chitchatting with friends. There’s that one guy who all the partygoers are avoiding: the guy in the wrinkled khakis and white button-down. He doesn’t seem to have anything to say, but he keeps sidling up to you and just standing there.

That guy is the personification of 95% of businesses online.

Faceless, forgettable, and frankly, fucking annoying. That guy can’t close a deal. That guy can barely hold a conversation. You do not want to be that guy.

That’s where I come in.

Drives Stick

Does Standup

Definitely has too many cats

“Incredible job.”

“I wanted to thank you for the incredible job you did with our project. I sent it off to my boss, and he said, “it’s the best thing that I’ve seen all day.” Dang – if only I wrote it! LOL.”

Suzanne Harris
Vacation Village Resorts

I can take your online words and make them work harder to make you ca$h.

Or fame. Or love. The only thing I can’t do is bring people back from the dead.

How tongue-flappingly thrilled would you be to know that…

Your web copy can grab your visitors right from the headline, promptly sink its little dew-claws right into your prospects’ hearts, and gently-but-firmly tug them toward buying or signing up?

Why humor?

File this one under “shockingly obvious”…

HUMOR MAKES PEOPLE LIKE YOU

People liking you means they’re engaged. Which means they stay on your site longer. Which gives you a better chance at getting them to buy what you’re selling.

You can tell jokes all day. But if you don’t have a punchline, you’re just wasting everyone’s time and attention.

Copy works the same way. Write as much as you want – but if you don’t have a conversion goal, you’re going nowhere, friendo.

Here are the types of copy I get super-excited to write:

Humor Copy (of all stripes)

Landing + Lead-Generation Pages

Website Copy

Sales Pages

Email Drip Campaigns

Product Pages

Badges + bona fides

Some are old! Some are new! All of the relevant knowledge (and a lot more) remains stored in my remarkably space-efficient head.

“Your work kicks **s and you’re a pleasure to work with.

“Thank you so much. Your work kicks **s and you’re a pleasure to work with. Now is when you ask for referrals and we gladly recommend you. Business needs more human. You bring human. Thanks for giving SSS more voice!”

Andy Humphrey
Sprinkler Supply Store

If this page hasn’t turned you all the way off

Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself. No one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself. No one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale. Psst, did you spot a broken link somewhere? Keep that shit to yourself, no one likes a tattletale.

Litmus

Ecommercefuel Live

Business of Software

AMerican Marketing Association

Baby Bathwater

The Dynamite Circle

Convert.com

Blue Ribbon Mastermind

Smart Traffic live

Influence & COnversion summit

Entrepreneurs' organization colorado

Marketingprofs

Call to action Conference

Learn inbound

The Copywriter Club IRL

Microconf

Release notes

Unspam by really good emails

Social media week

your event here? c'mon ...

Meow.