When the final building has crumbled to dust and cockroaches rule the Earth and Ted Cruz finally grows a spine, one rule will still hold true:
The funny business gets the last laugh.
“I want to publicly say you’re a genius.”
“@punchlinecopy!!!! I want to publicly say you’re a genius. I bought your day, and am blown away by the quality and quantity of what you accomplished.”
Adrienne Barnes
Best Buyer Persona
Businesses that worked with me + liked it:
Businesses that worked with me + didn’t like it:
Three ways to work with me ...
For more haha and less blah blah
The Knockout
Recorded Heuristic Audit
Get my recorded feedback, ideas, and prioritized recommendations on up to 4 pages of your website, or 5 emails in your automated flow. If you want a ton of conversion and copy ideas fast, this is the service to start with.
Deliverables:
- 4 detailed audit videos
- Bullet-point recommendations
I just watched, and I am already super grateful to have your eyes on this. Brilliant! ; )
– Olivia Martinez, LadySuite
The Uppercut
Landing Page Heuristic Audit + Rewrite
Lemme punch some life back into your landing page. Along with recording a detailed audit video of your current page, I’ll rewrite the whole thing for bigger laughs and higher conversions.
Deliverables:
- 1 detailed audit video
- 1 page of brand-spankin’-new conversion copy
Frick, this is SO GOOD and I LOVE it!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you!!!
– Susan Boles, ScaleSpark
Buy My Day
Anything You Want, Baby*
*Except for that.
Weaponize my weird brain for a day. Landing page copy, email strategy and flow copy, audits, taglines, campaign ideas — you name it, I can do it (or, even more valuable, I can tell you why I wouldn’t recommend doing it).
Deliverables:
- Anything I can do in a day (dang, that’s a lot)
I gotta say, what John Mayer is to guitars, you are to copy. A master at your craft. I can tell already that I will have very few notes or requests. I do have one follow up question already though. When can I work with you again?
– Cameron Brown, Einstein Moving Co.
LOOKING FOR MY COURSE, CONVERSION COMEDY? OR WANT ME TO TEACH YOUR TEAM?
Consulting + custom projects
AKA "I don't see what I want. Can we talk about it?"
No, I will not sit on you for money.
Ye Olde Wall of Praise
I read this when I feel shitty about myself. Enjoy!
SNAP Copy
Small copy jobs done fast and well. No project too teensy, and no revisions →
Conversion Comedy
Your life and your copy will never be the same →
Dumb Shit on Bluesky
ranked #1 for “funny copywriter” (i killed all the others) →
This space intentionally left blank to force you to contemplate your own mortality
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