(Scroll down for the After)
I LOVED this site before I worked on it, to be clear. But I saw some opportunities on this homepage not just to add more thigh puns (duh) but to clarify what we wanted users to do on this page. The “before” page was a little overloaded, a little overwhelming. I wanted the copy to do a better job of helping users understand which pair to pick (or at least click).
We added more “you” language (vs. “we”), and brought more of the products’ many benefits into the copy for an added dash of persuasion. Notice how more of the headers and body copy (heh) tell readers what to do.