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FASHION FRIDAY: Travel Chic

Hello, devoted Fashion Fridayers! Please accept my apologies for a long absence. What can I say? When business gets crazy, your own blog is the first to suffer. I’m working on that. ūüėČ

Tomorrow, I’ll take my third trip in as many months. I’ve got plane-wear down to a science–and I promise it’s not all Juicy Velour sweatpants and VS Pink hoodies.

Just in case it needs to be said, always build your travel outfit around your shoes.¬†I don’t know how many times I’ve shuffled past miserable women in the airport, tottering painfully on stiletto heels with their poor, raw toes hanging out like uncanned Vienna sausages. This pair of adorable, snappy lace-up flats from seller BangiShop is just the ticket.

Striped Leather Flats
Unlacing these leather sweat-sponges at the security checkpoint is gonna be a truly unpleasant experience.

High-quality yoga or palazzo pants are another good way to look like you’re not wearing your pajamas to tour the world, while totally wearing your pajamas to tour the world. I like this pair from seller OmBeautiful, who clearly has life figured out.

Yellow Palazzo Pants
What’s that? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you through all the Zen.

Definitely wear long sleeves on your travels. You can always push them up if you get hot, but you can never make your forearms warm without lighting them on fire. Or, you know, wearing a jacket. I’m digging this weirdo design from seller WoodenJacket.

Cowboy/Indian Shirt
Forever at war, on your chest!

The final thing you need to tie it all together, and trick your Starbucks-fueled fellow passengers into thinking you’ve got it all figured out, is a big ol’ piece of statement jewelry–like this honking cocktail ring from seller AtelierYumi. Just don’t forget to pick it up from the TSA’s little plastic bowl as you’re going through security.

Druzy Cocktail Ring
Punch uppity TSA officers in the teeth!

Wish me bon voyage!

FASHION FRIDAY: Comfortable Clothes for Creative People

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Happy Friday! It’s true–I’ve written a Fashion Friday post about being comfortable before. Okay, maybe more than once.

However, my quest for comfortable clothes continues. Here’s what I’ve discovered: It’s possible to look cute and/or professional without squeezing yourself into an outfit/shoe combo¬†that ruins your feet and/or your day.

Colorblock Top
You’ll never guess how expensive two pieces of silk can be once you sew them together.

Take, for example, this cute colorblock top from seller XSILK. Sure, since it’s sheer, you might have to wear something under it, thus doubling your effort–and since it’s silk, you couldn’t sweat or even sit down while wearing it–BUT you’d have enough room to release your stomach pooch. Take a deep breath and let it all hang out.

Pocket Shirtdress
Comfortably store all the nuts and seeds you need to make it through the winter!

If the last time you saw your ironing board was right before a wedding or a funeral, it might be better for you to stick to low-maintenance fabrics. This tentlike, cotton creation from seller deboy2000 is right up Not Really Trying Alley.

No one will be able to tell if you’re pregnant, or just impossibly chic!

Polka-Dot Sweater
Pantslessness is next to godliness.

Speaking of winter, that will be the perfect time to bust out this polka-dot¬†masterpiece from seller rockstreetvintage. People will be so enamored with your devil-may-care sweater style, they won’t even notice you’re not wearing pants.

Multi-strand Jersey Necklace
Kind of like a friendly, patriotic octopus.

Seller BaobabFabricArt made this necklace by drawing-and-quartering several thrift store sweaters, then gathering up their innards and having Rapunzel spin them into a sea creature. Whatever; I dig it.

Have a comfortable weekend!

FASHION FRIDAY: Go for a Romp(er)

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

My friend Megan and I have been hung up on rompers lately. There’s something about the¬†freedom of having your shirt attached to your pants. You could do anything: climb a tree, do the can-can, drop-kick a hamster.

Obviously, it was time to find out what our Etsy romper options were. Here we go!

Clover Romper
Ken sold separately.

Here is a romper for those whose breasts defy gravity. Seller jordanderuiter clearly has a stockpile of lanky, doe-eyed brunettes just lying around to try on her designs.

Blue Jumpsuit
Mysteries of the universe: Where does her torso begin and end?

I don’t know why rompers are called jumpsuits once they have legs, but I guess we’re moving on to jumpsuits. Try this one from seller KSClothing on for size. I’m not sure, but I think it’s made out of blue raspberry cotton candy.

"Demure" Jumpsuit
If this is demure, I am a nun.

Then there’s this “demure” red option from seller ovonion. I suppose the fashion industry’s definition of demure has changed from “modest” or “concealed” to “only shows a little bit of nipple on its way to exposing your entire stomach”.

Black Jumpsuit
See that drop-waist? WINNING.

To finish on a high note, I’ll show you my favorite of all. This classy option from seller MDSewingAtelier¬†reminds me of a silky black blouse I once bought from America’s fine purveyor of fashion trends: Target.

The difference is that I wouldn’t leave this jumpsuit in the backseat of my car, bleaching in the sun for months while I pretended I was going to return it.

Do you own a romper/jumpsuit?? Can I try it on?

 

 

FASHION FRIDAY: Cony Lorm Fabian Com

Today I am wearing the most ridiculous sweater, which I got at a clothing sale full of stuff straight from Thailand.

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Why this face? I don’t have any others.

As you can see, my sweater is gray and a little bit too small for me. It’s also covered in zebras (some are colored, a la Yipes, the famous zebra of¬†Fruit Stripe gum fame).

Some of the zebras are saying something. It happens to be,

“Cony Lorm Fabian Com.”

This, dear friends, is the reason I bought the sweater. It makes no sense, and I love it unconditionally. So, in search of similarly lovable, nonsensical clothing items, I scoured the entrails of Etsy to bring you…

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Grammatically Incorrect Surprisingly Coordinated Fashion Friday!

Actually, I couldn’t find any clothing on Etsy that was grammar-related. And I’ve already done a zebra-themed post. So instead, here are some other things I like, in the random tradition of “Cony lorm fabian com.”

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Second grade-style. Look at that chunky heel.

How bout these lemon-and-stone sandals from seller AKIDILAV? I’m kind of a huge fan. They remind me of second grade, but in a way that says, “I am a dedicated second-grade receptionist. How many I direct your call?”

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YOU GUYS. THESE LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN.

You could pair those sandals with these tassel earrings from seller EPUU (I don’t know what is up with these all-caps seller names). There’s a bicycle handlebars joke in there somewhere, but I could never say anything sarcastic about these earrings, so let’s move on.

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Cherry blossoms! You know, because Japan.

Next, throw on this “tunic kimono blouse”e from seller wanderlustclothingHQ, which channels geisha style without going into the misogyny-and-lead-makeup-behind-the-scenes bummer deal. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, learn yoself.

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Sleek. And large. Which is, coincidentally, how my friends describe me.

Finally, this is the bag you shall carry to complete your ensemble. Seller Laroll clearly knows what’s up, because this bag comes in assortment of sizes–from “I’m a regular human being” to “Vastly pregnant and carrying my laptop, next week’s groceries, and all of my household pets too”.

Voila: Cony lorm fabian com! Seize the weekend!

FASHION FRIDAY: All of the Stripes

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

In honor of my friend, Tory, who suggested I write about stripes today because we are both currently wearing stripes:

Here are some stripes.

Piano Dress?
TOO CHIC; CAN’T HANDLE

In the category of Things I Can’t Afford That Also Happen To Look Like Pianos, I give you this dress by seller iheartfink. It’s so impossibly chic, the seller even named it after Paris. Pretty sure you have to ask the fashion police permission before you put it on.

Urkel Shirt
Get picked out of your next lineup!

New for the Urkel in your life: this vintage shirt graciously offered us by seller ApplePickerVintage. It’s so hip, you can’t wear it into old folks’ homes because they get jealous.

Get it?

Okay, next.

Beach Hat
Doubles as a beach umbrella, backpack, and fruit basket.

Go nuts at the beach with this monogrammable giant striped beach hat from weirdly-named seller GladevilleFarmhouse. You’ll be glad it has your initials on it, when everyone else is wearing the same hat! Just kidding. That won’t ever happen.

80s Striped Knit
Killing it.

The last striped item is less about this striped knit shirt from seller VintageReBelle, and more about the fact that I would like this girl to be my best friend, please. Penetrating scowl? Check. Perfect bangs? Check. Portrait of sassy unicorn in immediate vicinity? Check, check, and check.

If you wear a lot of stripes–or you happen to be my new best friend above–holler at me in the comments!

FASHION FRIDAY: Peachy Keen

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Hey y’all! It’s been a while since I wrote Fashion Friday. Mea culpa. I’ve been exploring the realm of other topics–any and all other topics.

But today, everyone’s favorite rude Etsy round-up is back…and juicy.

Peach Bow
Let people know you’re a dimwit before you turn around!

We’ll start off simply with this little peach bow from seller myjustpeachyshop (wonder how they came up in search? Hmm). This seller offers a lot of hair bows, all of which are perfect for adding a darling dash of “I don’t know what I’m doing” to your boring workday outfits. Where are those reports? I don’t know; I have a bow in my hair. Who left pudding in the office sink? Wasn’t me! Look, I’m wearing a bow.

Peach Aragonite Necklace
This thing is struggling to break free and kill us all.

Then it gets a little more complicated. This “peach aragonite gold” necklace from seller friedasophie¬†looks like it has developed a life of its own. It will probably cut your throat while you’re wearing it, and I mean really cut it. But it’s so pretty, why not take a chance?

Peach Flats
Dance party! JK, you can’t afford these.

You knew some ballet flats had to make their way in here, and here they are. Seller thewhiteribbon knew exactly what I was coveting, and now I have to resist these suede-to-order shoes. Look how soft they are–like the outside of a peach, or a baby’s face right after it cries.

Peach Sundress
Bridal bitchface.

Last but not least, check out this serious chiffon sundress¬†from seller LYDRESS.¬†You may need to hire someone to stand behind you and hold it off the ground–and also to shield your modesty¬†from curious onlookers, because this dress looks sheer as hell. Anything for fashion.

Are you gearing up for summer with some juicy gear? Let me know.

FASHION FRIDAY: Navy + Black Leather

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

 

Happy Fashion¬†Friday! Today we’re back to color combinations, because according to my eyes, too many of you are woefully ill-advised when it comes to which color goes with which.

Voila: navy blue + black leather. Simple, timeless, and really hard to mess up even if you have detached retinas.

Navy Blue + Black Clutch
Made from 50% blue cow.

Let’s begin with this clutch from seller JillyDesigns. Though I tend to stay away from strapless bags that demand you hold them like a small pet or underweight baby, I’d make an exception for this beauty. Notice how the blue complements the black. If you’re colorblind, send someone the link so they can notice for you.

Silk Panel Party Dress
Sass not included.

Next, I couldn’t resist this silk-paneled party dress from Australian seller ReverieAgain–despite knowing that no matter how dark the fabric color, I will always, always, sweat through silk. It’s like silk knows I am not classy enough to wear it, and turns my body against me.

Blue Resin Ring
Perfect for cocktail parties and breaking faces!

I’m slightly obsessed with this resin ring from seller metalsgirl. There are probably a¬†few¬†other things I would buy with my lottery winnings before dropping $110 on a ring, but you know, a girl can dream. And I definitely saw this ring in my dreams last night.

Leather Statement Necklace
Paint two black dots on your collarbone to complete the smiley face.

If that giant ring isn’t enough of a statement, try on this dominatrix-esque leather necklace from seller SartoJ. You don’t really need any other jewelry with this thing–and if you happen to get hungry, it’s right there to chew on.

Dig this post? Share it below!

FASHION FRIDAY: Pink + Gold Geometry

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

I’m digging simple color combinations, stark lines, and symmetrical shapes today. With that in mind, check out some standout Etsy picks that play with geometry!

Remember: the more angular your clothes and jewelry, the less lumpy and deformed your face looks.

Glacier Scarf
Pants: check. Shoes: check. Shirt: ah, shit.

Kick things off with this massive pink and black scarf from seller royalcaballito, who hails from Spain, where it is acceptable to wear a scarf instead of a shirt. Summer or winter? I can’t tell, but whatever the temperature, chances are it will be nippy.

Rose Gold Geo Earrings
Tiny, delicious, non-edible choking hazards.

Pair that scarf/shirt/best-of-the-breast adventure with these rose gold-painted earrings by seller PerfectlyCloudy. I’m a huge fan of earrings that go from day to night with no fuss, and metallics are a good bet. Plus, they’ll show up on the X-ray when your baby swallows them.

Geo Crop Mini Set
This model is not a morning person.

I would look like a five-year-old in this matching geometric set from seller Stylecamp, but I want it anyway. Especially if it is supposed to be worn with a scowl, as pictured. I totally own one already.

Pink and Gold Earrings
It’s like you’re a ranking officer, only cuter and with less camouflage.

How ’bout these pink-and-gold chevron earrings from seller miscii? They’re wooden and handpainted, so they will perfectly accompany any color of spray-painted refrigerator box or tattered thrift-store sweater.

Today’s Fashion Friday feels particularly vicious. Or maybe it’s just all those sharp edges. Happy shopping!

FASHION FRIDAY: Animal Style

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

No, we’re not talking about In-N-Out Burger. We’re talking about the plethora of animal-themed Etsy items, and how I want ALL OF THEM.

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Send your clingy girlfriend a message.

Case in point: this amazeballs sloth ring from seller CuriousBurrow. Would I wear it? Well, I really don’t know. Would I cherish its little sloth face until it disintegrated? Categorically yes.

Catalope Leggings
Walk away AND freak people out. #winning

Same goes for these absurd “Wild Catalope” leggings from seller barkdecor. I grew up believing in jackalopes, so I would have no problem busting these out and convincing the less-mentally-endowed and oxygen-deprived-at-birth that catalopes are real.

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Baby animals, grown-up style.

Also digging this woodland animals dress from seller ShugaRose. I spy deer, owls, and maybe a fox or two in there. And since it’s black and white, it goes with literally anything…including everything from this post. You’re welcome.

Lion Skull Necklace
Don’t leave this lion around.

Last in this post but decidedly first in my heart, this lion skull necklace from seller LostApostle is fucking #FIERCE. Not only is it like you’re channeling your inner ferociousness, it’s like you killed that ferociousness, ate it, and then hung it from your neck. DONE. Show me pictures of your own awesome animal style!

FASHION FRIDAY: New Year, New Style

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Once upon a time, my New Year’s resolution was to dress like less of a slob. This was during college, when jeans and a sweatshirt were my uniform (paired, naturally, with my waist-length mermaid hair, so people could tell I was a girl).

That year, I paid more attention to what I was wearing. I was trying to reinvent myself, to look in the mirror and appreciate my own appearance. I wore skirts and scarves, added jewelry, and tried out heels when I knew I didn’t have to walk far.¬†Essentially, I gave myself permission to be pretty.

And it paid off–I got a lot of compliments, but more importantly, I felt good about myself. I didn’t need a whole new wardrobe. I just needed a little imagination, some time before bed to pick out an outfit, and the confidence to wear it.

Why not give the same thing a try this month? Here are a few Etsy picks for self-reinvention.

Aztec Leggings
These leggings will totally floor you.

January can be chilly, so stock up on fun, colorful leggings and tights, like these from seller Gogreenstyle. Even if the rest of you is covered in the most boring color possible (puce, anyone?), these leggings will make your legs stand out like Dwayne Wade at a Little People of America convention.

Cobalt Flats
Feet for miles.

Try to bust out your high heels a little more, if you can–there’s nothing like heels for making you feel put-together (and, incidentally, for making your feet bleed). Should you require a flat footwear alternative, check out these cute slip-ons from seller lolliette, whose toes must be even longer than mine because would you look at that toe box?

Mint Scarf
One color for each of your personalities.

Scarves can do wonders to spice up an outfit. This tri-colored confection from seller dailyaccessoriez would go well with the flats above! Just don’t pair it with the leggings at the top of this post, or you might unintentionally blind everyone.

Color-block Dress
What’s in the top right corner??

If you don’t feel like putting together a matching outfit (it helps if all of your clothes are either navy, black or gray, like mine), throw on a cute dress and call it a day. I’m digging this cute color-block frock from seller bilot.

Whatever New Year’s resolution(s) you decide on, give yourself a break every now and then! I’m throwing on a sweatshirt, ’cause it’s cold in here.