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FASHION FRIDAY: Gold on to Me

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday It’s a gloomy day in New Orleans today. You know what always helps with gloomy days? SPARKLY STUFF. Lucky for you, I sifted through a bunch of boring, low-quality gold stuff on Etsy for a few delicate, gorgeous pieces that you can actually all wear at once. How often does that happen? Let’s gold!

Gold Ear Cuff
What’s that, Legolas? You’re jealous of my jewelry?

First up, we have this magical ear cuff from seller knobbly, who may or may not be an elf princess. If you’ve always wanted an Industrial piercing, but you aren’t a fan of getting big, bloody holes punched through your cartilage (different strokes, different folks), you can try this less-permanent alternative on for style.

Gold Bar Necklace
Two inches long, made of gold, with a phoenix feather core. If you don’t get the reference, I don’t want to know you.

Barring complications, this necklace from seller bySiukwan should go with everything you own (unless everything you own is made of silver, in which case, here is my telephone number: (xxx) [REDACTED].

Gold Ring
Buy yourself a finger-hug.

Here’s a cute little gold ring from seller StefanieSheehan. Its open style would go perfectly with a light summer dress, or swollen, diabetic fingers.

Gold Bracelet
Murdered tree not included.

Finish your look with this hammered gold bangle by seller PointNoPointStudio. As usual, there’s one item about which I just can’t say anything bad. Look at this harmless little bangle. It has never experienced the horror of your wrist. This gold-themed post comes to you straight from an avowed brass-jewelry fanatic–but hey, I’m learning.

FASHION FRIDAY: Cony Lorm Fabian Com

Today I am wearing the most ridiculous sweater, which I got at a clothing sale full of stuff straight from Thailand.

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Why this face? I don’t have any others.

As you can see, my sweater is gray and a little bit too small for me. It’s also covered in zebras (some are colored, a la Yipes, the famous zebra of Fruit Stripe gum fame).

Some of the zebras are saying something. It happens to be,

“Cony Lorm Fabian Com.”

This, dear friends, is the reason I bought the sweater. It makes no sense, and I love it unconditionally. So, in search of similarly lovable, nonsensical clothing items, I scoured the entrails of Etsy to bring you…

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Grammatically Incorrect Surprisingly Coordinated Fashion Friday!

Actually, I couldn’t find any clothing on Etsy that was grammar-related. And I’ve already done a zebra-themed post. So instead, here are some other things I like, in the random tradition of “Cony lorm fabian com.”

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Second grade-style. Look at that chunky heel.

How bout these lemon-and-stone sandals from seller AKIDILAV? I’m kind of a huge fan. They remind me of second grade, but in a way that says, “I am a dedicated second-grade receptionist. How many I direct your call?”

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YOU GUYS. THESE LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN.

You could pair those sandals with these tassel earrings from seller EPUU (I don’t know what is up with these all-caps seller names). There’s a bicycle handlebars joke in there somewhere, but I could never say anything sarcastic about these earrings, so let’s move on.

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Cherry blossoms! You know, because Japan.

Next, throw on this “tunic kimono blouse”e from seller wanderlustclothingHQ, which channels geisha style without going into the misogyny-and-lead-makeup-behind-the-scenes bummer deal. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, learn yoself.

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Sleek. And large. Which is, coincidentally, how my friends describe me.

Finally, this is the bag you shall carry to complete your ensemble. Seller Laroll clearly knows what’s up, because this bag comes in assortment of sizes–from “I’m a regular human being” to “Vastly pregnant and carrying my laptop, next week’s groceries, and all of my household pets too”.

Voila: Cony lorm fabian com! Seize the weekend!