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FASHION FRIDAY: Cony Lorm Fabian Com

Today I am wearing the most ridiculous sweater, which I got at a clothing sale full of stuff straight from Thailand.

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Why this face? I don’t have any others.

As you can see, my sweater is gray and a little bit too small for me. It’s also covered in zebras (some are colored, a la Yipes, the famous zebra of Fruit Stripe gum fame).

Some of the zebras are saying something. It happens to be,

“Cony Lorm Fabian Com.”

This, dear friends, is the reason I bought the sweater. It makes no sense, and I love it unconditionally. So, in search of similarly lovable, nonsensical clothing items, I scoured the entrails of Etsy to bring you…

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Grammatically Incorrect Surprisingly Coordinated Fashion Friday!

Actually, I couldn’t find any clothing on Etsy that was grammar-related. And I’ve already done a zebra-themed post. So instead, here are some other things I like, in the random tradition of “Cony lorm fabian com.”

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Second grade-style. Look at that chunky heel.

How bout these lemon-and-stone sandals from seller AKIDILAV? I’m kind of a huge fan. They remind me of second grade, but in a way that says, “I am a dedicated second-grade receptionist. How many I direct your call?”

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YOU GUYS. THESE LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN.

You could pair those sandals with these tassel earrings from seller EPUU (I don’t know what is up with these all-caps seller names). There’s a bicycle handlebars joke in there somewhere, but I could never say anything sarcastic about these earrings, so let’s move on.

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Cherry blossoms! You know, because Japan.

Next, throw on this “tunic kimono blouse”e from seller wanderlustclothingHQ, which channels geisha style without going into the misogyny-and-lead-makeup-behind-the-scenes bummer deal. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, learn yoself.

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Sleek. And large. Which is, coincidentally, how my friends describe me.

Finally, this is the bag you shall carry to complete your ensemble. Seller Laroll clearly knows what’s up, because this bag comes in assortment of sizes–from “I’m a regular human being” to “Vastly pregnant and carrying my laptop, next week’s groceries, and all of my household pets too”.

Voila: Cony lorm fabian com! Seize the weekend!

FASHION FRIDAY: Navy + Black Leather

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

 

Happy Fashion Friday! Today we’re back to color combinations, because according to my eyes, too many of you are woefully ill-advised when it comes to which color goes with which.

Voila: navy blue + black leather. Simple, timeless, and really hard to mess up even if you have detached retinas.

Navy Blue + Black Clutch
Made from 50% blue cow.

Let’s begin with this clutch from seller JillyDesigns. Though I tend to stay away from strapless bags that demand you hold them like a small pet or underweight baby, I’d make an exception for this beauty. Notice how the blue complements the black. If you’re colorblind, send someone the link so they can notice for you.

Silk Panel Party Dress
Sass not included.

Next, I couldn’t resist this silk-paneled party dress from Australian seller ReverieAgain–despite knowing that no matter how dark the fabric color, I will always, always, sweat through silk. It’s like silk knows I am not classy enough to wear it, and turns my body against me.

Blue Resin Ring
Perfect for cocktail parties and breaking faces!

I’m slightly obsessed with this resin ring from seller metalsgirl. There are probably a few other things I would buy with my lottery winnings before dropping $110 on a ring, but you know, a girl can dream. And I definitely saw this ring in my dreams last night.

Leather Statement Necklace
Paint two black dots on your collarbone to complete the smiley face.

If that giant ring isn’t enough of a statement, try on this dominatrix-esque leather necklace from seller SartoJ. You don’t really need any other jewelry with this thing–and if you happen to get hungry, it’s right there to chew on.

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