FASHION FRIDAY: Phone Home

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Oh, Mardi Gras, you sweet, awful, heartbreaking harlot. You ate my phone.

And in honor of my replacement phone, which is admittedly sleek and sexy but does not contain the thousands of pictures, videos, texts, and notes that my old phone did/does, we’ll be focusing on phone accessories today.

Phone accessories for everyone! Cute ones! Dumb ones (but mostly cute ones)! Just don’t forget: the best accessory your phone can have is you, sober, knowing exactly where it is.

Leopard Phone Case
All of your photos come with a free, furry halo!

Look at this ridiculous mess from seller LeiCHARMS. If you’re feeling fierce, you can translate your fierceness to your iPhone with a furry, crystal-studded leopard case. You can also transmit all of the oils from your fingers and face; your coffee; Doritos dust. The list goes on.

Red Wool Galaxy Case
It’s elementary, my dear Samsung.

Any classy Galaxy S4 user would gravitate toward this lush red wool “phone wallet” from seller MariForssell. It’s low-key and high-quality; plus, it would keep you from idly playing with your phone instead of interacting with the real world. Can you tell I’ve been without a phone for days?

Teal and Coral Case
I’m thinking Aquafresh.

This printed wood case by TonCase reminds me of something. Nah, maybe not.

Fox Cases
WELL HELLO, YOU.

Obviously this fox-themed HTC One S case (the one on the left) from LovemeABC is already in my shopping cart. Is it worth $15 plus shipping from China to sport my spirit animal on my phone? Have you met me?

Do you have a phone case you love? I might just set mine up with some rubber Sugru corners and call it a day.

FASHION FRIDAY: Garden Party

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

If you’re super fancy (I’m not), you get invited to things like garden parties. You also have money to buy all new outfits for aforementioned parties. Take my style advice. Soon enough you will be giving me your Southwest Companion Pass and flying me everywhere. Don’t fight it.

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The summeryest ankle roll you ever met.

FIRST. Check out this insane summer heel from seller ChristyNgShoes. Floral peep-toe and heel! WHAT? Does it matter that you couldn’t walk a foot in these, especially on a lawn? Nope, because garden party. Get a man to carry you.

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Crinoline and dainty waist not included.

Pair your ridiculous new floral heels with this simple vintage dress from seller daisyandstella. Its unusual light blue color, with a matching belt and the fact that it’s NOS (new old stock, meaning not soiled with the drippings of a now-ancient wearer) mean that you’ll be the envy of every girl at the ball. I mean garden party.

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Looks like a candy necklace! You’ll break your teeth.

Decorate your clavicle with a summery Indonesian bead-and-brass strand  from seller BohemianFringe, who can be forgiven for his or her terrible shop name because this necklace is pretty.

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To preserve your chinchilla-soft, ladylike hands.

Finally, in the spirit of a true garden party, show off your privileged lifestyle by donning a pair of white lace gloves, like these from seller Tallllll. It’s a simple way to say, “Dishes? Well, I never.”

After this, you should be carted off by a dashing, brawny fellow, your five-inch floral heels never once spiking the lawn. #gardenparty