FASHION FRIDAY: Back, and Still Rude

A love letter to the last week of summer camp (in haiku form, because who has time to read a whole letter?):

O camp, I love you
However: it’s time to go
I have camper plague

You can blame the aforementioned plague for the lack of Fashion Friday in your lives and inboxes last week. Though I still sound like an asthmatic Fran Drescher, I peeled myself out of bed to find some stuff to ridicule for you. It might be my giant tonsils, but I’m feeling harsh.

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Here we go:

Not a right triangle in any sense of the term.

This triangle-shaped leather backpack from 20twentyvintage is on the theme-curated front page of Etsy today. I’m not sure if the theme was “Back to the Future” or “Things That Make You Uncomfortable But You Can’t Put Your Finger on Why.” Maybe because this backpack looks like it should (or used to) have fingers of its own.

Price cut!!! Buy me one thousand please.

Zing bang. NEXT. Trolling the “Recently Listed Items” section yielded this handcrafted miracle of modern fabric-work, from coyly named seller ScarfMood. After browsing the fraying catastrophes in the rest of the store, I’m looking forward to seeing this seller’s next brainchild: perhaps a sheer leopard-print scarf accented with lace? No, wait, they did that already.

My next album cover

In case your friends don’t know you’re cool yet, pop on this be-Lennoned baseball shirt from seller cottonclick. I’ve never seen a cat look more like a bug, and you’ll never look like a bigger tool.

Will you marry me? GTFO.

To finish up your weekly dose of WTF, have a look at this “ring” from seller elsahats. Making jewelry: no longer just an art form. Just grab a rock, some string, and your nearest gumball-machine prize ring. Put them together and call it “tribal”! If someone pays $10 for this, I’m quitting writing.


Your resident curmudgeon Maven


Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Today’s Fashion Friday is inspired by one of my summer campers, who has an amazing cat T-shirt that I covet. Luckily, I haven’t stooped so low as to steal from a twelve-year-old…yet.

Meow you won't die alone!
The only acceptable type of cat-call.

In the meantime, I’m comforting myself with cat-tastic Etsy accessories, like this iPhone case from recently featured seller JuliaWine. Its little ears would be the perfect accompaniment to any spinster’s multiple-cat lifestyle. Meow you might not die alone!

Punch someone and start a catfight!

Maybe it’s just because I’m missing my cat while I’m away, but I also dig this simple ring from seller oohfancydesigns. He or she (I’m guessing she) has thoughtfully designed it as a stacking ring, so you can get one for each cat you own. If rings extend past your knuckle, seek help.

It’s a Morticia Addams kind of day.

Not really sure if I would wear these sweater pins/brooches/collar ornaments from seller Mintloftcom, or if I would wear them on absolutely everything I own. The line between fashion plate and freakshow is getting a little…fuzzy.

Sink your teeth into some kitty couture.

Can we say: best shirt in the world? This tank from seller 24hrstshirt might even be better than that camper’s shirt. I’ll confess that I put it in my shopping cart already, just beclaws I deserve it.

Feeling catty? Drop me a line at lianna@theenglishmaven.com.