Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

No, we’re not talking about In-N-Out Burger. We’re talking about the plethora of animal-themed Etsy items, and how I want ALL OF THEM.

Send your clingy girlfriend a message.

Case in point: this amazeballs sloth ring from seller CuriousBurrow. Would I wear it? Well, I really don’t know. Would I cherish its little sloth face until it disintegrated? Categorically yes.

Catalope Leggings
Walk away AND freak people out. #winning

Same goes for these absurd “Wild Catalope” leggings from seller barkdecor. I grew up believing in jackalopes, so I would have no problem busting these out and convincing the less-mentally-endowed and oxygen-deprived-at-birth that catalopes are real.

Baby animals, grown-up style.

Also digging this woodland animals dress from seller ShugaRose. I spy deer, owls, and maybe a fox or two in there. And since it’s black and white, it goes with literally anything…including everything from this post. You’re welcome.

Lion Skull Necklace
Don’t leave this lion around.

Last in this post but decidedly first in my heart, this lion skull necklace from seller LostApostle is fucking #FIERCE. Not only is it like you’re channeling your inner ferociousness, it’s like you killed that ferociousness, ate it, and then hung it from your neck. DONE. Show me pictures of your own awesome animal style!

FASHION FRIDAY: New Year, New Style

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Once upon a time, my New Year’s resolution was to dress like less of a slob. This was during college, when jeans and a sweatshirt were my uniform (paired, naturally, with my waist-length mermaid hair, so people could tell I was a girl).

That year, I paid more attention to what I was wearing. I was trying to reinvent myself, to look in the mirror and appreciate my own appearance. I wore skirts and scarves, added jewelry, and tried out heels when I knew I didn’t have to walk far. Essentially, I gave myself permission to be pretty.

And it paid off–I got a lot of compliments, but more importantly, I felt good about myself. I didn’t need a whole new wardrobe. I just needed a little imagination, some time before bed to pick out an outfit, and the confidence to wear it.

Why not give the same thing a try this month? Here are a few Etsy picks for self-reinvention.

Aztec Leggings
These leggings will totally floor you.

January can be chilly, so stock up on fun, colorful leggings and tights, like these from seller Gogreenstyle. Even if the rest of you is covered in the most boring color possible (puce, anyone?), these leggings will make your legs stand out like Dwayne Wade at a Little People of America convention.

Cobalt Flats
Feet for miles.

Try to bust out your high heels a little more, if you can–there’s nothing like heels for making you feel put-together (and, incidentally, for making your feet bleed). Should you require a flat footwear alternative, check out these cute slip-ons from seller lolliette, whose toes must be even longer than mine because would you look at that toe box?

Mint Scarf
One color for each of your personalities.

Scarves can do wonders to spice up an outfit. This tri-colored confection from seller dailyaccessoriez would go well with the flats above! Just don’t pair it with the leggings at the top of this post, or you might unintentionally blind everyone.

Color-block Dress
What’s in the top right corner??

If you don’t feel like putting together a matching outfit (it helps if all of your clothes are either navy, black or gray, like mine), throw on a cute dress and call it a day. I’m digging this cute color-block frock from seller bilot.

Whatever New Year’s resolution(s) you decide on, give yourself a break every now and then! I’m throwing on a sweatshirt, ’cause it’s cold in here.

FASHION FRIDAY: How to Waste Your Etsy Gift Card

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Oh, Friday after Christmas. Why must you be so depressing?

The only bright spot in the bleak despair of knowing that Christmas is once again 363 days away is spending your Etsy gift cards. Naturally, we all received these for Christmas.

Bullet earrings
Ear shot.

The first item I recommend spending your hard-earned Etsy cash on: these bullet-casing earrings from seller BallisticRounds. When people say, “What did you get for Christmas?” you can just thumb your earlobes meaningfully, give them a long, hard stare, and growl, “Don’t ask questions.”

Geometric Wallets
Better together.

I’m also a big fan of these two-tone wallets from seller fixfly. Not only will they hold your cards better than a regular wallet, they also have a space for your iPhone, so they’ll be perfect for when I actually get an iPhone.

Boot Socks
Knitted slippers, my foot! Wait…

If you were given a heftier gift card, blow it all on these ridiculously expensive socks/”knitted slippers” from seller ThreeBirdNest. Yeah, they look really comfortable. They’re also $50. Maybe they’re knitted from angel snot.

Cat Dress

I can’t decide if I really, really need this dress from seller SuiteChic, or if it’s patently ridiculous . You decide. I will just be staring at the picture in the meantime, wondering what happens when you actually move in this dress.

FASHION FRIDAY: Pretty as a Picture

I’ve been doing a lot of writing about photography lately. With that in mind, here’s an Etsy fashion roundup based loosely around cameras and film. Don’t overthink it. I sure didn’t.

(What’s that? You want me to model for you? Well, if you insist.*)

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

I can already hear my dad snorting.

Want to pretend you are, like, so artsy and knowledgeable? Frame your iPhone photos in this vintage camera-styled case from seller CRAFIC. You still won’t know what an aperture is, but you might feel like less of a fraud.

Now you see me, now you are a SPY BEHIND ENEMY LINES.

If you’d rather go the purely decorative route, grab this lens pendant from seller LePetitPanda. Photography nerds will run up to you, asking if it was made from a genuine Halina Acromat camera. Simply nod and allow them to buy your coffee.

I think that black thing is some kind of kitchen appliance.

Store all of your bits and bobbles–um, I mean extra lenses–in this canvas camera case-meets-killer-bag from seller RockCowStudio. The seller helpfully supplies the bag’s dimension so you can make sure that your DSLR (Diverse Supply of Lipsticks and Rouges) fits inside.

This is what we think of the past.

Star in your own film with a pair of creative earrings from seller tomatedepingles, who will surely find widespread success with his or her totally comprehensible shop name. Made from vintage negatives, these earrings prove that film is truly dead.

Will you buy any of these items? Specifically, will you buy them and send them to me? Let me know in the comments, or drop me a line at lianna@theenglishmaven.com.


* Please note that I take payment only in scones.

FASHION FRIDAY: Polka Dot Psychosis

For some of us, polka dots are a leery prospect. I personally owned nothing with polka dots on it until this summer, when my well-meaning mom sent me a bright blue scarf spotted with cheery little white circles. I am currently wearing that scarf. WHO AM I?

If you thought the inspiration for Fashion Friday came from divine insight, sorry; it actually came via USPS from Baltimore.

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

WARNING: If you wear all of these items at once, you will spontaneously combust upon looking in the mirror.

Polka Dot Dress
Collard blues.

Let’s start off slow with this Peter Pan-collared dotty dress from seller FleetCollection. It’s sheer enough to be sexy, but not sheer enough that you’d need to charge people to look at you. Unless the bottom part is sheer too, which it looks like it is. In that case, make that money, girl.

Red Hair Bow
It’s a statement piece. The statement is, “I’m six.”

Next we have a classic polka-dotted hair bow from seller myjustpeachyshop–a steal at five bucks. You have to have a lot of hair to pull this one off, though, otherwise you might accidentally channel a desperate, meth-head Minnie Mouse.

Polka Dot Tights
Barbie feet not included.

Should you require some leg coverage, snap on these tights from seller BetweenLoveI’ve heard that polka dot tights can make your legs look fat, but so can ski suits, pizza pants, and jeans stuffed with packing peanuts. I guess what I’m saying is: live a little. And let me know when you’re done with your pizza pants so I can eat them.

Megadot Skirt
Each dot is actually a tiny civilization built of white marble.

Finally, this “mega polka dot” skirt from seller SandeeRoyalty offers a flattering cut with dots so big you could hide coded messages in them. Invite someone to decipher the code and “connect the dots”. Best pickup line ever: you’re welcome.

Like I said, don’t wear all of these together or the world will end. BUT if you do, send me a picture at lianna@theenglishmaven.com.



Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

No, that’s not some dumbass name for a swimsuit that can’t figure itself out. This is a post about clothes for those pesky in-between-season days (read: all seasons here in New Orleans).

A few versatile items will keep you cool/warm on days when the weather is seriously just fucking with you. Please note that this is not another post about layers. If you have not figured out how to layer clothing, Darwin will take care of you shortly.

Expose your fly(ness).

I am a die-hard cardigan fan. I think it runs down the German side of my family. The Germans are such a practical people. Need to keep your torso warm when a cloud passes over the sun? Snatch up this shapeshifting sweater/vest/scarf creature from seller LuciaVerona.

Oldies but goodies.

Good flats, like these red vintage beauties from seller ANewDayVintage, are essential for in-betweenies. Wear them with shorts on a hot day; slap on some tights when the big meteorologist in the sky decides to make it hail. Sometimes this outfit change can happen in a single day.

Become a sultry redhead! Or just get the next best thing: this hat.

You know those hipster chicks who wear knit hats on blisteringly sunny days? JOIN THEM. This slouchy woven beanie-thing from seller zukas is your ticket to hot, steamy head. You get it. I know you get it.

Doubles as a tiny guitar pick.

Show off your versatility with this necklace from seller ThoughtBlossoms, which looks to me like an itty-bitty upside-down delta, or the triangular symbol meaning change. That is literally the only thing I remember from high school chemistry. Good thing I’m a writer (sorry Mom).

What else do you need? Wait for it…

Wait for it…