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FASHION FRIDAY: Winter Wonderland

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday More like wishful wonderland–there’s no snow in New Orleans, and there’s likely never to be any. But that’s okay, because the windows are open and I’m SO READY TO WRITE THIS POST. Here are a few low-key, festive sartorial selections for those of you who genuinely like Christmas, but aren’t ready to scream that to the world with a sparkly Kmart sweater:

Maxi skirt
It only comes in sizes 0 – toothpick.

Just kidding! You’re going to get some stares with this totally insane, giant green corduroy skirt from seller xiaolizi. Not only will it make you look like an elf, it will make you look like you’re smuggling 10 more elves.

Colorblock scarf
Cheery, without being scary.

This scarf from seller ScarfObsession will go right along with your new green corduroy skirt-apartment. It’s got red and green for Christmas, AND blue for Hanukkah. There’s even a little gold/brown in there, for some other holiday-type holiday that is probably not Kwanzaa.

Temporary tattoos
Rudolph the red-nosed tramp stamp, anyone?

If you want to show your winter spirit in a less-dressed kinda way, try on these woodland creature tattoos from seller whitneyjane. Chances are the entire office will see you naked after that fourth glass of eggnog, so why not give ’em something to look at?

Pearl earrings
Is it a snowflake? An upside-down tree? Whatever; she has pretty lipstick.

Finally, I’m not usually a fan of dangly earrings (let’s just say I overdid it in high school), but these freshwater pearl tree earrings from seller VirginiaGeigerJewels caught my eye. They’re a less conventional version of the thousands of boring silver snowflake bracelets I plowed through to find you, well, these earrings. Do you dress up for the holidays? Because I might just have to try it this year.

FASHION FRIDAY: Halloween Dress-Up

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Can you say “best day of the year”?

Probably, unless you’re chewing on marbles. Stop doing that and read this post.

HALLOWEEN is upon us again, and there’s no better time to browse Etsy for wacky shit and then use the 31st of October as an excuse to dress like a lunatic.

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Why, hello there…wait a minute.

Start from the ground up with these burlesque-style tights from seller Carouselink, which look like they have garters, but SURPRISE, they don’t. But they are superfly, so I forgive them for lying.

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Kid-tested, post-Halloween walk of shame-approved.

Accessorize with a kid’s mask for grown-ups, like these from seller oppositeoffar, which are by far (see what I did there?) the best adult masks I’ve seen on Etsy. Unfortunately, the seller seems to be on vacation. Oh well. Maybe next year.

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How I wish these were permanent.

Since you can’t get those masks at the moment, go for a temporary eye makeup tattoo instead. This low-key circus-clown-meets-Nascar-flag set from seller cclstore should do nicely.

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Get kicked out of parties!

And if you really feel like going all out, you could shell out almost two whole Benjamins for this totally terrifying spider cloak thing made by seller madj2004. It’s long, and huge, and also terrifying (did I mention that?). But hey, it’s black satin, so it’s super lightweight. Like spiderwebs. And fear.

Happy Halloween! Send me pictures of your costume so I can make fun of that too!