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When the final building has crumbled to dust and cockroaches rule the Earth and Ted Cruz finally grows a spine, one rule will still hold true:

The funny business gets the last laugh.

“I want to publicly say you’re a genius.”

“@punchlinecopy!!!! I want to publicly say you’re a genius. I bought your day, and am blown away by the quality and quantity of what you accomplished.”

Adrienne Barnes
Best Buyer Persona

Businesses that worked with me + liked it:

Businesses that worked with me + didn’t like it:

Three ways to work with me ...

For more haha and less blah blah

The Knockout

Recorded Heuristic Audit

Get my recorded feedback, ideas, and prioritized recommendations on up to 4 pages of your website, or 5 emails in your automated flow. If you want a ton of conversion and copy ideas fast, this is the service to start with.

Deliverables:

  • 4 detailed audit videos
  • Bullet-point recommendations

I just watched, and I am already super grateful to have your eyes on this. Brilliant! ; )

– Olivia Martinez, LadySuite

The Uppercut

Landing Page Heuristic Audit + Rewrite

Lemme punch some life back into your landing page. Along with recording a detailed audit video of your current page, I’ll rewrite the whole thing for bigger laughs and higher conversions.

Deliverables:

  • 1 detailed audit video
  • 1 page of brand-spankin’-new conversion copy

Frick, this is SO GOOD and I LOVE it!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you!!!

– Susan Boles, ScaleSpark

Buy My Day

Anything You Want, Baby*

*Except for that.

Weaponize my weird brain for a day. Landing page copy, email strategy and flow copy, audits, taglines, campaign ideas — you name it, I can do it (or, even more valuable, I can tell you why I wouldn’t recommend doing it).

Deliverables:

  • Anything I can do in a day (dang, that’s a lot)

I gotta say, what John Mayer is to guitars, you are to copy. A master at your craft. I can tell already that I will have very few notes or requests. I do have one follow up question already though. When can I work with you again?

– Cameron Brown, Einstein Moving Co.

LOOKING FOR MY COURSE, CONVERSION COMEDY? OR WANT ME TO TEACH YOUR TEAM?

Consulting + custom projects

AKA "I don't see what I want. Can we talk about it?"

No, I will not sit on you for money.

Yes, I have been asked.

Ye Olde Wall of Praise

I read this when I feel shitty about myself. Enjoy!

Litmus

Ecommercefuel Live

Business of Software

AMerican Marketing Association

Baby Bathwater

The Dynamite Circle

Convert.com

Blue Ribbon Mastermind

Smart Traffic live

Influence & COnversion summit

Entrepreneurs' organization colorado

Marketingprofs

Call to action Conference

Learn inbound

The Copywriter Club IRL

Microconf

Release notes

Unspam by really good emails

Social media week

your event here? c'mon ...

Meow.