5 Ways My Loathing of Texting + Driving Will Lead to My Untimely Death

1. Shrieking “Put your fucking phone down!!” at other drivers as I veer off the road

2. Mean-mugging drivers who are clearly texting, subsequently smashing into oncoming semi

3. Stress-induced high blood pressure

4. Depression due to losing all my friends, who tell me I have become “really one-note lately”

5. Texting + driving

1 Comment

  1. David Fiso Reply October 10, 2017 - 2:45 am

    Hahaha! This is the truth! I’m distracted by all the other distracted drivers.

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